Yip Yah... I am really pregnant

Finally... This time I waited the time before telling people just in case.  Now if you happen to read some of those pregnancy books about the only one I would recommend is 'Up The Duff by Kaz Cooke'. I actually found the others scared the wits out of me... Most where full of old wives tales or worse case scenarios. Which when it is your first pregnancy you really do not want to hear.

Some other books will tell you you should be able to feel your baby kicking somewhere between 16 - 18weeks. This is only the case in about 10 - 15% of pregnant women. I was so worried when I read this I made an extra appointment when I got to 16 weeks because I couldn't wait. My doctor really dislike these books because of information like this. I didn't feel my baby until 21 weeks.

Now I will warn you straight up... Advice will come thick and fast with some really odd information. Now this will continue right though and including whilst trying to breastfeed, but we will get to that.

Now to understand I was extremely lucky to be pregnant so I did talk to my obstetrician a lot about foods and diet as I knew just one thing could be bad for me and my baby.Best advice given was eat naturally by my GP and Obstetrician. What this means is if is is processed then don't eat it. He said things like margarine, diet coke, etc...

One big warning I got was about diet sweeteners like aspartame and that one that starts with 'P' and lots of letters can cause you to miscarry. Again chances of this vary from person to person but I was not taking any risk at all.

To this day I will not touch the stuff. I tended to ignore most other advice given and if I wasn't sure I spoke with my doctor. I must say I even had nurses giving the most bizarre advice. I had a child health nurse tell me that potatoes were bad and that it would give your child diabetes...

Needless to say I freaked, thinking I have hurt my unborn baby. The doctor laughed and said don't believe that even for a second. I now think that male nurses and doctors were better because they are out of the old wives tales loop.

Now, in saying everything that I have I will say that different foods will have different effects on different pregnant mothers to be. I couldn't stomach for a moment any seafood and even the smell would send me running for the toilet.

I was a little unlucky in this regard as well because whilst at work I sat right near the breezeway to the lunch room in a call centre, and it was around this time that most people decided to be on the no carbs or low carbs diet which meant they all ate tuna or Salmon on crackers or with salad. The smell, oh god was terrible to me. I had to wait until lunch was over before I could eat mine. Otherwise from this I had no morning sickness at all.

Cravings... Your not odd

Some old wives tales say if you don't follow your cravings your baby will have birthmarks in the shape of... I know again bizarre. Popular in Maltese culture this one. Anyway, this is not true, just in case you were wondering.

I didn't have strong cravings and seriously didn't matter if I didn't get what I wanted but some expectant mums will have really strong cravings. So don't be surprised, all I say is try to remain healthy in your choice.

My craving otherwise was Pancakes, I couldn't get enough of them, just plain with lemon and butter. My other was strawberries, I would eat whole punnets of strawberries then eat more if I could. These days I still love both but just not on the same scale.

By this stage I was now 16 weeks pregnant and loving it.

Foster Care?

Determine we were... We went through the checks and passed them all. We were convinced this was it, this is what we should be doing. Now December 2002 we had news and great news though we were nervous. "Your Pregnant" I was not confident at all, as previously advised I would probably never see a pregnancy to term. I was not sure what to think. I was happy but sad at the same time. We took our name off the list for Foster Care for now.

The doctors were cautious and I was having ultrasounds every appointment plus specialist ultrasounds for a better picture to ensure everything was going well.

Week 10 I started bleeding, again I thought just not meant to be. Went to the Obstetrician who did a check and said, " Baby's healthy small bleeds are common around this time as the baby starts to look like it should"...

My response, "REALLY? NO WAY... REALLY? OH GOD YEAHHHHH..."

Now just so you know if you do get a bleed and you feel unsure get checked anyway, but it is common and another thing people just do not mention.

I went to specialists appointments every 6 weeks and also my obstetrician appointments. Dr Kelsey was such a nice doctor and lovely man. My husband attended every appointment, because, ummm well doctors poke around and I felt safer with my husband there.

I was still nervous because I wasn't sure if this little person was going to stick around, if so I was due 28th September 2003.

Another Decision

The year is now mid 2001. My husband and I thought we would be good parents we were financially secure, not rich but OK. So we thought we could look at adoption.

Now this is interesting, and I must admit still leaves a sour taste. We thought that there are lots of children in the world that need someone, and we were willing to be that. It turns out the government in there great wisdom decided that charging an extraordinary amount of money would make it easy. The waiting list is also shocking.

The waiting list for a child is close to 10 years with a cost of between $5000 - $10000. This is supposedly for cost pertaining to the process including court cost. Now you would think leaving a child in a system would cost more and be detrimental to a child. My husband and I could not see the logic. Especially when we knew there where children just waiting.

After speaking with a person from Adoption Queensland and we were informed of this, I ask about overseas. The cost for this at the time was $15000 - $30000 but could be more depending on the country. I was a little cranky and said to the poor girl on the other end of the phone. So we are buying the child, which would leave us broke and no actual funds once we have them with us.

I must say I kind of still feel the same way. Basically is you have the money you have a child. But we had so much love to give and we thought we would be a stable home.

My husband and I talk about it and again decided that is might not be our calling. I was devastated. I just wanted a family more than anything.

I am not sure if the rules have changed at all since this, but I do hope it has.

2002... OK New Year. New Decision...

Our calling we think is foster care. I had done some work with troubled children who's family lives had not been great.

So we went to find out more about it. We went to an information session which was eye opening and also made us more determine. We met the most amazing people who do it for only for the children. Very self sacrificing people. One women who stood out had at the time 4 of her own children and 6 foster children. She only would take children under 7 and only long term care or emergency care. All the kids went to the same school regardless if they were her own or foster children. Which means they went to private school.

I would like to point out she was not well off or made of money. She and her husband had decided they all deserved the same chance. She and her husband loved all those children the same. This of course made both my husband and I more determine.